An Actor's Judgment - Know When To Leave It At The Door

For some time now I've thought about JUDGMENT and how it plays in an actor's artistic development.  Maybe you don't have any issues with this but I do.  I feel like I've wrestled with managing it since I started acting and creating.  I've felt it take on many shapes within my own work and I've seen students struggle under the weight of it in their work.  But no matter HOW it effects you there is now way to ignore the deep roots judgment sets down in each of us.  So I thought I would spend some time sharing my thoughts and perspective. 

judg·ment //ˈdʒʌdʒmənt//

1. an act or instance of judging.
2. the ability to judge, make a decision, or form an opinion objectively, authoritatively, and wisely, especially in matters affecting action
3. the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind: Our judgment as to the cause of his failure must rest on the evidence. 

- Dictionary.com

From the definition above it doesn't look like that much of a bad thing, right?  It's noble and objective -- wise.  But the ivory tower of judgment has a dark side -- and I'll get to that in a sec.  After all, it's massively incorporated into our everyday life.  It assists us with all sorts of important choices.  It IS our important choices!  In fact, it's so much part of our identity that we judge almost instinctively without even being aware of it.  Judgment is BUILT into WHO we are.  And as we hopefully use our BETTER versions of it -- then our judgment shines through as one of our strongest assets and a defining example of our character in real life. 

But just like everything else in "real life" it is inevitable this too will -- for better or for worse -- play a major role in your artistry. 

And why SHOULDN'T it?  YOUR judgment is another unique element specific to YOUR origins of creation.  It's another unique quality of who you are!  SO your judgment is an extremely useful tool for you individually as an artists.  For example, it will help you discover your aesthetics and guide you through your artistic choices.  It will play a large role in the projects you seek out and the roles you will long to play.  It will keep you out of uncomfortable and shady collaborations with uncomfortable and shady artistic predators.  It will become a major force in your career choices and how you define yourself within the industry.  It will help you find the audience to whom you want to communicate and play a large role in the message you wish to share.  And just as in real life, your JUDGMENT will lead you to make choices that can DEFINE who you are as an artist/creator and the direction your creations will take.  So THIS is judgment's positive side --as an ever evolving necessity in your artistic journey.

But AGAIN!  Just like everything else in life and art, there is light and dark.  There is PRODUCTIVE JUDGMENT and there is DESTRUCTIVE JUDGMENT.

PRODUCTIVE JUDGMENT, as mentioned above, plays a major role in the development and identity of your Actor/Self.  Since it guides you through your career and professional choices then using caution and discretion throughout these areas SHOULD be encouraged.  But here is where those judgmental lines can start to blur and things can get sticky for us.  We are always looking to improve our creative abilities and widen our artistic range.  We ALL have a HUNGER to be more fulfilled in each creative moment BUT to do so takes a certain level of self awareness.  If we are not careful this is where we can get into trouble by judging our work instead of being aware and learning from our observations.  So how do we differentiate between healthy self awareness and DESTRUCTIVE self judgment?  How can you take your artistic temperature without letting critical stinkin' thinkin' slip indoors?

For starters, it will help you to just accept that battling your destructive judgmental demons is going to be a never ending struggle.  AND THAT'S OK!!  There is no way to just "turn off" your internal critic.  In my forty years I've never been able to discover a way to do so and I've never met anyone else who was successful either.  And if you COULD then you might never evolve.  It's just part of the human condition and there is FREEDOM to be gained by letting go of one more thing we try to control.  However, you can learn to use that critic to your advantage -- by learning how to SPEAK BETTER to yourself.  How many times have you finished rehearsal or a performance and walked away...not only speaking internally to yourself but actually VOICING the words to the universe...I SUCK!  Or I'm terrible!  Why am I doing this?  I'll never get it right!  I'm not funny AT ALL!  What's the point?  Who cares!  It's just not IN me.  I'll NEVER be able to go there.  I'm not pretty enough.  That was shit!  I just wasn't REAL enough!!  Well guess what?  All of these words start to settle deeper and deeper into your soul the more recklessly you use them.  It's like pouring salt on the same ground you plan to grow your dream garden.  You are poisoning the very soil you should be nurturing.  Trust me; I'm guilty of this myself.  It is only natural to feel frustrated when you are struggling with a role that you just can't find a way to fulfill -- that precious actor ego of ours is very protective of itself.  We are all terrified of looking foolish or FAKE.  We desperately want it to FEEL REAL but trashing your own work just leaves it broken.  So remember -- we've already established that what we do ISN'T real which means we need to search for a more realistic way to evaluate our performance and development.  Besides, if you get right down to it what we do IS foolish and fake...right? 

Of course that doesn't mean we consider acting without the utmost respect.  We do.  But if our inner critic is trying to compare our performance to reality...something which is an IMPOSSIBLE comparison to achieve...THEN it is vital as actors to shift our attention to more attainable goals.  We should strive to create something truthful not realistic.  This is where elements like FULFILLING tasks, SENDING and RECEIVING action, and FOCUSING your attention OUTSIDE of yourself start to take center stage.

Another healthy productive way to consider talking about your work is that performances are neither GOOD nor BAD but they should be considered FULFILLED or UNFULFILLED.  Good and Bad are finite labels.  It's over.  Bad is just BAD.  Even good never really feels like it has anywhere else to go.  Except maybe on to GREAT or EXCELLENT but those are such lofty "headline" labels that you never feel satisfied.  Fulfilled gives you the feeling of BEING filled with PLEASURE and JOY in your performance.  Fulfilled allows you the opportunity to continue to grow as your performance takes on MORE fulfillment.  And unfulfilled ALWAYS has somewhere to go.  If the work was unfulfilled today that only means it isn't fulfilled YET.  Again, bad is bad and just shuts you down.  These are SIMPLE things that you may consider silly "self help" jargon but the truth is they really work.  AND the fact that they are simple silly adjustments makes them that much more accessible to help fortify your Actor/Self against your own destructive judgment.

Still there is another gate crashing cousin of your destructive critic who strikes at the heart of your creation -- that pesky CHARACTER JUDGE.  But this is an easy fix.  Just get rid of him/her.  NEVER.  JUDGE.  YOUR.  CHARACTERS.  Just that simple.  This is a cardinal rule of acting.  You will never discover your full potential within a role if you are standing in judgment of their actions and who they are.  How could you?  For example, if you are playing a character who is a free spirit with her love and you think she (or he for that matter) is a nasty slut and rather unlikable person -- you have already determined WHO she is and how close you will ever get to her.  You have projected your own "real life" values onto her and who she is.  Your judgment will cloud your understanding for WHY she is in the story and WHAT she is there to do.  You certainly will not be able to consider say -- why she sleeps around or how she views her actions.  And more importantly you will be neglecting your responsibility to the story you are there to tell.  And why would you even do this?  Sometimes we don't even realize that we ARE judging our character.  We believe that we've already found them and there is just something wrong with the direction the play is going which doesn't match our characterization.  So we rebel.  But mostly we are just victims of our insecure ego once more.  We are afraid of looking bad.  We are afraid the audience will not LIKE us.  And not the character but they will not like US, the ACTOR.  Or worse they will assume that in real life we could be SLUTTY.  And here again I have to say...ACTING ISN'T REAL.  Your character is there to serve a function and if you deny them their function then you deny them their true purpose.

Ask yourself: Are my choices those that my Actor/Self is making or are they the choices that my Actor/Character would make?  Are my choices inspired by the Likes & Dislikes of my WHO AM I?  Or am I afraid of looking foolish and making choices that are SAFE?  Or worse do you believe your character's actions are WRONG and are afraid it's WRONG for you to perform them?  Maybe you are just afraid that if you can perform and understand an amoral character -- that you fundamentally disagree with -- then you might be forced to re-evaluate your own beliefs.  Well you might.  But remember truth has nothing to fear of investigation.  AND the characters you play are NEVER YOU and NEVER REAL.  Your performance is for the benefit of your audience.  Your performance is part of a larger story that is trying to communicate SOMETHING-- ANYTHING to your audience.  They are the ones who deserve your utmost honest and UNBIASED interpretation so THEY can have a personal and REAL experience.

So be honest and fair with yourself.  Acting should be FUN and IMAGINARY!  Characters are our CREATION.  We are allowed to explore the actions and lives of Characters -- that might have nothing in common with our own identities -- in a safe and healthy environment.   Judgment only ruins the fun!
     

UNIQUE YOU: Who you ARE is more than "Just Be Yourself"

Since my last post I've been thinking a great deal about the actor's origin of creation.  In a number of my previous posts I have made mention of and echoed many similar traditional beliefs that acting starts with you--THE ACTOR -- and I wholeheartedly agree with these beliefs.  Who you are is where it will all begins.  All your past experiences and the depth of YOUR imagination are what will feed the creation of your characters -- Your Who Am Is.  But this is just the beginning NOT the finished product.  I have heard so many acting teachers coach actors to do less "acting" by prompting them to "BE more of you" or "find more of yourself in the role."  This really gets under my skin.  Why is it that acting teachers go straight to "just be yourself" as Maggie the cat or "find yourself" in Hedda to curb Behavioral/Quality acting?  Is this at the core of what the American Method has created?  I will agree that when two actors are just sitting there AS THEMSELVES reciting lines simply without "acting" in the room together it can be a very honest moment -- it CAN be moving.  But what if that style/technique/approach doesn't fulfill the demands of the text in the scene or the overall story?  What then?  Can an actor make an adjustment to who they are as a person?  No, YOU can't.  But CHARACTERS can!

No you are missing the point of What If!  I have to imagine how I would do this if I were in this situation!

You know somewhere along the way I think Stanislavsky's "What IF" has been reduced to a lazy Actor Centered excuse.  Instead of actually using it to discovering a character -- which might take too long, result in going to emotional places that are uncomfortable, or WORSE unbelievable acting -- the modern style is to re-interpret the character's identity to that of the actor's.  Now how "I" react in the imaginary circumstances is based on who "I" have evolved into from my own real life experiences.  As a result the character is no longer in the play...the ACTOR is.  But let's imagine that you are playing Stanley in A Streetcar Named Desire.  It's the end of Scene III and you are rehearsing the famous "STELLA" moment.  You decide based on your life experience that you, the actor, really wouldn't over react in circumstances like these because you don't really like conflict in your real life.  You are more level headed about things -- not to mention you can hold your liquor pretty well so you don't believe that if YOU were in these imaginary circumstances you would behave so erratic or emotional.  Besides, this is really YOU and honest to how you would get Stella back downstairs so everyone needs to accept your performance as fulfilled.  REALLY???  This is NOT what the magic IF is about.  An actor CANNOT replace the character with their own actor self.  The What IF is not about how YOU would behave in the given circumstances so much as it is about how the given circumstances might AFFECT you.  Stanley -- in accordance to the story you are in service of -- has been drinking for hours and most likely more than normal -- for starters -- because he is losing money.  His living situation is inconvenienced.  His wife is less compliant/cooperative now that her sister is living with them.  He is threatened some and possibly attracted to his wife's sister -- all of which is creating conflict and disrupting his happy life.  So how YOU, as the actor, might react to the given circumstances is only the beginning.  How YOU might react is what starts to inform your imagination to the sensations of the given circumstances.  You are not imagining what you would do in that situation -- you have to imagine what those circumstances would do to you.  Remember characters rise up out of the given circumstances.

Every one of us has our OWN unique way of reacting in every situation that we encounter in life.  We react the way we do based on our very complex development, perspective, and the values we give everyone and everything in our personal universe.  This is what makes us who we are AND is our greatest asset as a creator.  But TRUTH is not limited to your real life experience which is why "just be yourself" falls short of inspiration.  I think if you are only acting AS yourself in the given circumstances then you are limiting your potential.  And it seems that the accepted belief in this approach is that you, the actor, ARE the epitome of truthfulness and honesty in your everyday existence and we KNOW that isn't true.  Most of the time in "real life" we are too busy trying to be anything but honest with ourselves and others.  We try too hard to get our friends to think we're funny.  We do things we don't believe in to impress our bosses at work.  We smile a little too much to convince our spouse we still adore them.  Real Life is FULL of "fake" moments so how can you trust THAT to be your artistic benchmark?

But what you can trust about BEING YOURSELF is just how UNIQUE that self is!!  There is no one else like you in the entire world.  In the entire HISTORY of the world.  There never has been and there never will be anyone who is like you.  No one who thinks like you.  No one who speaks like you.  No one who has the same imagination as you.  That same complex development, perspective, and values you give everyone and everything in your personal universe has only evolved the way it has ONCE in all of time.  And only ONCE with you.  This is what makes your performance so special and different than anyone else.  No matter if you say the lines with the same reading as another actor -- with the "same" inflection and "same" objective -- the performance will NEVER be the same.  Declan Donnellan has a great perspective on this topic in his book The Actor and the Target as one of his "uncomfortable choices:" Originality or Uniqueness.

"Whenever we try to be original it is evidence that we have lost confidence in our uniqueness.  We may fear our uniqueness might not be there when we need it, or, what is more sinister, we fear that what is different about us may actually be inferior.  Particularly when young, uniformity can be reassuring.  But uniformity is impossible.  Uniformity is only an ideal, always a dangerous one.  But it shouldn't frighten us too much as it has never actually existed.  Like attention or presence, uniqueness is given to us; it has to be accepted and is out of our control.  Like anything else out of our control, we suspect uniqueness simply because it just might let us down.  So we invent an imaginary substitute, a synthetic dummy, which will be our personal creature.  Hello originality, goodbye uniqueness...The more we strive to be original, the more we obliterate our inherent uniqueness.  The more we try to be 'new', the more repetitive and reactionary we become."

For years I wanted to STAND OUT and be original to the point that I was more interested in that than fulfilling my character's wants and needs.  This was once again my ego driving the bus to nowhere.  My acting had no purpose and therefore my choices were self-centered.  I believe there is nothing wrong with a desire to unearth an inspired choice but when you neglect your purpose the result is just you being clever.  Of course at the other end of the spectrum, resting on your uniqueness (just being yourself) instead of doing the rest of the required investigation is only HALF the work and just plain lazy.  Have confidence that your uniqueness will drive you forward in creation.  As your imagination and investigation develops then your uniqueness will shine through in your choices.  The Who Am I/Character WILL be uniquely yours but TRUE to itself. 

I think that teachers train actors to "be themselves" because they do not know how to inspire truth in unfulfilled acting any other way.  I'm sure this started out as a very productive and useful approach.  However, this is not a healthy or constructive way to develop an actor.  It is limiting.  If an actor's boldness is "fake" or "showy" then the issue isn't that they need to be less of the character and more of themselves.  The issue is that their performance is detached from truth.  It is detached from purpose.  It's like hydroplaning in your car.  You know the second the car has left the road -- you are no longer in control and at any moment you could fly into oblivion.  You can feel it in all of your being.  It should be our job to help you discover why you came off the road.  Not tell you to get out an walk.  Not TRICK you into NOT performing by directing you to "just play yourself."  Acting is not a reality show.  The inescapable fact about acting is that you ARE performing.  There is no way around it and you will never be able to convince your brain that you are not -- so you might as well accept it.  So with that in mind my first advice is, DON'T SHOW ME A PERFORMANCE.  PERFORM FOR ME A TRUTH.  Then we can be as bold as we want all day long!